Relationships are much like investments, the more you put into it, the more you’ll get out of it. But what if for some reason you put so much into it and realize your significant other isn’t investing as much as you have over the years? And there is no guarantee that your time and energy will result in a guaranteed profit - a long lasting relationship.

Hanging on to a Relationship

Why is it that so many people hang on to a relationship when every fiber of their being tells them that it’s time to end it. Could it be because it’s so hard starting over? Just the thought of going back to the beginning of starting a new relationship makes people afraid. Why? Because they’ve been there before and know how very long it takes to get to the ‘comfortable state’ of familiarity with another person.

No one wants to return to that ‘obstacle course’ called dating. You recall the first date, the awkward first kiss, trying to figure out if he/she really likes you, surviving the ‘interrogation’ of his/her parents and getting along with his/her friends. Will you have two cars or one? Do you want children or not? Which one of you will relocate for employment? But you still would rather hang on, even though you understand the relationship is over. Why does it take so long to let go?

Remembering the Brighter Side

At some point in the relationship things were fresh and new, you couldn’t wait to see a new facet of your partner’s personality. You’ve learned so much from them through the passing of time and have benefited being with this person. You two were happy with each other and maybe there’s a small chance to rekindle what seems to be burned out.

You become afraid to end the relationship prematurely in case one of you have a change of heart and can convince the other that your present state of mediocrity, frustration, resentment, and strife is not so bad. You’re sure that other couples have to be going through the same things so you keep the relationship going. Sometimes we’re in a relationship so long, that no matter how bad it has become, we rationalize ourselves into staying in it.

Signs a Relationship is Over

All relationships are different but when it comes to ‘calling it quits‘, most of these come to an end for similar reasons. Remember that to end a relationship is a personal decision and should be decided upon between you and your partner alone. Below are a list of situations for personal reflection to see if ending your romantic relationship is right for you and why some people call it quits.

• An Unfaithful Partner
• Constant bickering between the two of you over trivial matters
• Unable to be fulfilled in the relationship
• Resurfacing of same issues even with counseling, problems not resolved
• Willing to co-parent the rearing of your children with your ex?
• Have dreams that your partner died (if partner isn’t ill or elderly)
• Fearful of Partner - physical and/verbal abuse
• Different goals and values
• Irritated on just about everything your partner does
• Communication with your partner is almost non-existent
• Your partner is an alcoholic or drug user
• No progression in the relationship (e.g. you were 20 yrs old when you met and now you’re 35 and he/she still wants to wait to have a child)