We fall in love because we have an innate desire for companionship; to feel connected to someone or something. It’s safe to say that most people love their family, pets and even their jobs. But when it comes to romantic love, it takes on a world of its own. Why is that? What is love anyway?

Defining Love

The American Heritage Dictionary (Fourth Edition) defines love as - deep affection and warm feeling for another, the emotion of sex and romance, strong fondness or enthusiasm.

Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love describes three major components:

Passion: Feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.

Passion is what makes you feel “in love” and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy: Feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communication over time).

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment: Pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.

Definitions such as the ones above tells us that love is to be expressed; and one of the most popular ways people express this emotion is through song.

Love is unmistakably timeless and throughout history it has proven to be at the core of every song. One of the most recanted love songs that come to mind is, “What is Love?” by Haddaway best known from the movie - Night at the Roxbury. You can see romantic love in movies, hear it on the radio, read about it in books and in poetry. Yet how can something intangible make such an indelible impression on so many lives?

It Starts in the Brain

Researchers say that the brain sees romantic love as something to attain. Anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of “Why We Love”, studied the brains activity that makes falling in love so intense and passionate. She found that the brain sees romantic love as a reward, stimulating activity in the same areas that trigger when a person seeks a reward such as money, chocolate or even drugs.

Not only is romantic love an emotion but it’s also a motivation; a goal which when obtained is far more rewarding than just the feeling of being in love. Every day we live our lives with a goal in mind, a hope that the next day will be better than the previous one. Our brain registers romantic love as an achievement but the heart motivates us to act!

Heart in Motion

When we fall in love, our heart moves us to action, to display our feelings towards others in a positive way. It also urges us to suppress what is negative - actions that may harm the object of our affection. Humans automatically feel the need to protect their loved ones while simultaneously freeing them, that they may be at ease to reciprocate love without reservation.

There is a familiar bible verse that remarkably captures the essence of love at 1Corinthians 13:4-8 which states, “Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”